


Match Made in Heaven

by prince_pelleas



Category: Canadian Universities
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:48:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25009495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prince_pelleas/pseuds/prince_pelleas
Summary: A take on the classic romance between UWaterloo and UofT, a pair of star-crossed lovers that, in this reimagining, are both losers that can't communicate.
Relationships: University of Toronto/University of Waterloo
Comments: 10
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am very thankful to all my friends that told me to write this, and to everyone I am disappointing in doing this. I have nothing better to do with my time.

“You do realize that we’re top universities, right?” McGill asked, looking warily at his closest friend (he didn’t have that many, being pretentious and Quebecois)

UofT rolled his eyes. “You do realize that doesn’t matter, right? There shouldn’t be a ranking distinction anyways - we all have our good and bad sides.” 

“Spoken like a true bore. Isn’t it the best pleasure in life, to gloat about your accomplishments and research, and then let loose and party.”

Queen's, who was sitting beside them held back a chuckle, and pulled out his earbuds, still playing Give It Up" by KC and the Sunshine Band. “UofT? Partying? Get real. If you want to have any fun in Ontario, you’d go to Queen's! We have St Paddies Parties, Hoco, and the best people.”

“And Quebec has a lower drinking age, and a way more bustling city life, as well as a rich and storied history! Really, UofT, you should embrace rankings as a way of life - that’s your best trait. And you’re the top uni in Canada!”

Sighing, UofT laid his head down on his arms. Why did he even bother with the two of them? They were both too popular and extroverted to understand his struggles - those of a self-professed weeb that could barely talk to a cashier, let alone UWaterloo. 

“We should get back on topic though” Queen's said, looking at the pathetic mess of a man beside him. “How can UofT get the courage to finally address his blossoming crush on UWaterloo?”

“You can’t - neither of them can string together a sentence, let alone talk to one another.”

At that, UofT let out a loud sigh. “You know, you could really stand to be a lot nicer, McGill.”

“But am I wrong?”

“No. You’re not. But of the three of us you have the most relationship experience - that Polytechnic university from France, the Management university in Hong Kong…”

“And don’t forget UBC! We’ve been together for a while now! And you forgot UDM, UofSydney, and UMiamy and-”

“I get it! You don’t need to brag! Just help me!” By this point, UofT had raised his head slightly, glaring at McGill, who probably could continue to rattle off the names of his exes for a week. “Please. Do I need to beg on my knees for help?”

“If only you had that energy when it came to asking UWaterloo out. Just ask him if you can beg him on your knees.”

“That’s enough from you too, Queen's! Please, just give me any useful advice.”

“Ok, fine. Really, I’m only doing this as a favour for you since we’re both top universities in Canada - don’t forget this. Start by asking him about his California internships. That man can rattle on about them for hours. Then, just listen to him. He will love that. Go from there.”

At that, Queen's stretched. "Really? Why is that guy so hung up on California anyways? It's way easier to just stay in Canada, isn't it?"

"Why are you asking me? I guess "prestige" and "making bank" and "top tech companies" - he repeats those like a mantra every time we speak. I guess it's the idea that his suffering means something as long as he gets to leave Canada. I don't get that, but I guess I'm not from" McGill's nose crinkled "Ontario."

"That's rude!" UofT muttered. "Like being partially Francophone makes you better."

"It doesn't? What a surprise! And if it doesn't, I guess I'm naturally better! Win/win!"

"Boys, boys, back on topic! We should really focus on making an easy to follow plan for UofT to follow - after all, he does need a relationship. Or at least the chase of one - UWestern will one day be mine!" Queen's finished with a bright smile. "Wuck Festern after all!"

"Hey, maybe if he's lucky he'll be like me and UBC - happy and in love! We are a match made in heaven after all! Anyways, step 1 - engage him in a conversation about prestigious internships. Step 2 - listen to him talk for hours, while looking like you're engaged in his words. Step 3 - win points with him by asking relevant question when he's done. Step 4 - do it over and over again until you ask him out. Clear?"

"Crystal." UofT responded, still rather unsure of himself. Would UWaterloo like him? Would he be able to get over his nerves to ask him out?"

______

"Anyways what you need to understand is Cali or Bust. There is nothing in this world that matters outside of that - if you make it you're a victor and should be happy with your work ethic and flex on every other student. Maybe even flex on the geese. Or maybe not the geese - they are wild and powerful and godly beings and insulting them is a mistake. Or is flexing on them not insulting them? Do the geese have interships in Cali? Probably, because why else would you attend UWaterloo? Or are geese too polite to flex? Anyways, back to Cali or bust. If you don't make it you're a failure. You should go to Busan and cry. Maybe someone will take pity on you there but it's unlikely. Anyways, back to Cali-"

It had been ten minutes. Or maybe twenty, or an hour, or a day. It felt like time had ceased to exist - or maybe it had accelerated to a point where time was useless. The words just kept on pouring, endlessly - with no escape or end to them. And every few sentences, or paragraphs, he would return to "Cali or Bust". Why was he so invested in it? Why did he care so deeply? 

UofT didn't know, and he didn't care - UWaterloo's screechy, anime-girl impression voice was like music to his ears, a balm to his soul. He could listen to it endlessly, with no need for sleep or food. He was willing to just accept this as his eternal soundtrack - and it wasn't like Waterloo would ever stop. And he himself didn't have to say a word!

Maybe... they were truly a match made in heaven. 

A man that could not shut up about memes and Cali and a man who was too hesitant to leave his campus lest he approach URyerson's territory.


	2. Chapter 2

McGill gazed ahead, mildy irritated by the detour he had to make. While he was already used to it, the eternal construction really made it a pain to get around campus. Sometimes, (and even then, if asked he would deny it), he envied the fact that other campuses were less of a disaster. And with Gerts now closed, he would have to navigate off campus in order to get alcohol - and outside of campus was where Quebecois drivers were! And since Schulich Library was closed, he had to start a solid ten minutes further away from pretty much any interesting location. 

The Christmas lights were still on the trees in front of the arts building, and reflected onto the snow, which made him smile. The weather was dreary, sure, and the cold was awful, but the campus was still so beautiful, he didn't mind. Even the brutalist buildings, which weren't always the most appealing, looked almost magical, covered in the haze of snow. And then, when winter turned to spring, and spring to summer, the university would once again be covered in green, and be at it's most beautiful - he couldn't wait. 

As he turned onto Milton Street, he let out a sigh of relief. No one was driving down Rue University - he could jaywalk in peace (and ignore the nagging feeling that by jaywalking even while cars were driving by, he was part of the problem.)

Suddenly, his phone rang. With a sigh, he picked it up. Only one of his friends would actually call him - everyone else would usually text. "Yes?"

_____________________________________

Slipping on the FUCKING ICE and having his ass eaten by the FUCKING WIND, Queens made his way towards Stages, ready to have his phone lose all charge yet again. If only his phone battery was as high as his GPA when going into commerce. And then, when he'd get to Stages, he'd have to get to stay in line and freeze even more. 

As he crossed the road at a proper crosswalk, as the light was green anyways, his phone rang. 

"Ugh, I have to waste more battery?" Queens muttered under his breath as he took the call, not even checking the caller ID in his annoyance. It could've been a spam call, but since most of his friends called him anyways, maybe it was someone he wanted to talk to.   
__________________________________

Finally, it was over. UWaterloo let out a final breath and finally, after what seemed to be hours of him speaking, paused. Of course, UofT didn't know how long it had been, but maybe somewhere in the ballpark of an hour or two.

The time had passed like a blur, but now UWaterloo was done speaking and was looking at him expectantly. UofT gulped. 

"I absolutely agree. I think that the internship experience in California would be absolutely wonderful."

"Yes!! Exactly - the United States has so much technological progress and so many major companies - securing an internship with them is not only wonderful for the resume, and because I want to make bank, but also because it's incredible to see revolutionary technological advancements in person. Like, Canada has nothing like Google. And also I want to move to the US and make more money."

UofT coughed to cover up a snort - UWaterloo was really not that subtle at all, huh? 

"Do you... maybe want to go to a career fair with me some time? I think your... expertise (or madness, maybe both) would be really interesting!" 

At that, UWaterloo nodded. "I would love that! I actually have one coming up over the weekend - maybe we could go together? That would be so interesting - I could point out my favourite companies and recruiters!"

"That sounds wonderful - can you text me the details?"

"Of course! Anyways, I should probably get going - I haven't had bubble tea in a while. Actually, would you like to come with me."

UofT, panicking internally, tried to stay calm. "No - I actually have some labs to write up! We can go after the career fair I guess?" 

UWaterloo nodded ."Yeah, that sounds good - see you then!!!!"

Letting out a sigh of relief, UofT pulled out his phone, and instantly, as though on instinct, UofT pulled out his phone and called his friends. He could not deal with this mess alone - he needed advice, and fast. So of course, McGill and Queens it was. 

...He didn't have that many friends. 

...He really should work on that, huh?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is chapter 2! It's rather short, but I'll definitely try to write longer ones when I'm done with a final essay!


End file.
